Could use some work.
I don't like the instruments. They are like basic MIDI instruments and they just don't have a very professional sound to them. The song is okay, but there just isn't enough to it. The melody is okay, but it could use something in the background to pump it up. Maybe some bass and a string ensemble? I don't know, I just didn't really like it. I'm interested in what program you use to make this, because as I've said, it sounds pretty cheap. The only thing that sounds good quality is the reverb, which isn't really a big deal. I recommend getting Fruity Loops or Acid or something if you want to look into the music career professionally, which I highly doubt. But even so, they are good programs and I know for a fact that you can get free versions of FL around the web, you just have to look. Keep working on it, I guess. I'll check out your other songs, maybe they'll be better than this one. Sorry. Just my personal opinion...and I'm a tough critic.